Tag: transformation life coach

Have A Disability? Don’t ‘Dis…… Your Ability!

Vital Ability

Disability does not mean inability. ~ Anonymous

A focus on ability

Any person who has experienced a disabling injury, illness, or trauma (whether temporary or permanent) and is able to be actively involved in the coaching experience, can benefit from working with a coach.

Whether a disability is visible or invisible, a coach can be a valuable addition as an accountability partner assisting their client to face and move beyond specific life challenges and critical moments. A client can benefit from coaching as it assists in managing their re-invented self, while moving forward with their life.

There is also an added benefit to having a coach who has a disability, or that has recovered from one. They are able to fully understand and relate to the struggles, barriers, and the journey of recovery. They have not only survived their own personal trauma, but they are able to share how they have thrived in spite of their challenges.  With that genuine experience, there is no doubt that your coach understands difficulty can relate to some of the hurdles and emotions of that experience, and knows what it takes to overcome complex obstacles. This can allow you to trust the process and get the most from the coaching experience.

How can a coaching session be designed to benefit someone with a disability?

  • designed to help the client improve their own medical communication between themselves and medical professionals, promote empowerment and change the way we define wellness, sickness and healing. Coaching allows you to explore your ability to make clear, direct requests for support and accommodations

  • designed to be a mental and emotional process of supporting a client to unlock their potential, maximize their performance and grow beyond the current circumstances of their condition

  • designed around creating a structure for change, fulfillment, for the sake of enhancing well-being, and recognizing limitations

  • designed to help the client gain greater clarity about if, when, and how to self-disclose about their disability to others

  • designed to help identify and discover a client’s strengths, and confidently face difficult situations while expanding problem solving skills

  • designed to help expand the client’s ability to make clear, direct requests for support and accommodations

  • designed to explore time management skills with the Client

  • designed to help a client to find their own answers and solutions, become more creative, resilient, and adaptive

  • designed to offer space and attentiveness for the client to experience and see themselves authentically and develop their communication skills

Let us help you move from “survivor” to “thriver”.

http://www.vitalability.com

A Little Patience Goes A Long Way

Vital Ability

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

~ Anonymous

We all know that relationships can be difficult. One of the best methods we have for making every relationship less stressful and more enjoyable is to show a little patience.  Patience has been defined as what we lack for the driver in front of us and demand from the driver behind us.

In truth, patience is nothing more than time. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value.

  • Time before we say something: Think of a time when someone was not patient with you when you needed them to be. Think of how you felt. Think of how deeply you might have been hurt. The next time you find yourself losing patience with another, take a moment to remind yourself of how you felt when someone had no patience with you.
  • Time before moaning and groaning: Patience takes time, but no more time than the showing of anger; of stomping or yelling or whining or complaining. A little patience can often resolve a conflict that a loss of patience will only escalate.
  • Time to just let things run their course: Arnold H. Glasow said, The key to everything is patience. You get a chicken by hatching an egg, not by smashing it.î Some things require a certain amount of time. Losing patience only hurts ourselves and won’t speed up the process.

So take the time to smile instead of frown; the time to wink instead of snarl. How much time does it really take to give someone a small nod or a pat on the back? We never stop to think about how a little of our time can make such a big difference in how we make another feel.

He that can have patience can have what he will

~ Benjamin Franklin

We can enjoy the following life-changing benefits by learning how to become patient.

Long-Term Vision

By understanding the importance of having patience we can maintain an unwavering focus on our long-term goals. Temporary setbacks like a delayed promotion, failing to qualify for a tournament or exam, a re-scheduled medical appointment, or enduring train and flight delays don’t affect a patient person much.

Mental And Physical Well-Being

We can see how patience plays an important role in our mental and physical wellness. By understanding the importance of patience in our life, we can learn to stay in control of our emotions and avoids negative feelings such as anger, frustration, helplessness, etc. Patience can be therapeutic and help during rehabilitation processes and various therapies.

Ability To Make A Sustained Effort

Patience gives people the perspective to focus on long-term strategies. You would have noticed that patient people have a reputation for persistence. This is because they work towards their goals despite setbacks and delays. Effort is directly tied to our goals and the the results we get from that effort, or lack of effort.

Sometimes effort might mean just getting out of bed in the morning. It looks different for everyone.

Peace And Popularity

A lack of patience is nothing more than a reflection of ourselves, an exercise in self-control, and maintains a great role in our goals/objectives being achieved. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value. Being patient can help give us inner peace and provide the ability to keep smiling despite challenges.

The lack of patience is the key to so much unhappiness and grief in this world, when all it requires is a little time on our part. One of the simplest ways to build stronger relationships and bring more happiness into our lives is by becoming a little more patient.

Showing someone patience is really giving to another that which we wish to receive.

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

~Ralph Waldo Emmerson

http://www.vitalability.com

The Choice Between Optimism and Pessimism

Vital Ability

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty

~Winston Churchill

When it comes to how we view the world, most of us fall into one of two categories: optimist or pessimist.

According to the world’s foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman, everyone is born optimistic.  And yet, 95% of grownups are pessimists, not optimists.  What goes wrong?  Some people see the glass as half empty.  Others see it as half full.  But is it really as simple as that?  Is it possible to be a bit of both?

When you think about it, most people tend to be an optimist sometimes and a pessimist other times.  Ironically, a lot of times things turn out according to how we feel about the situation.  If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well. The same is true of the reverse.  When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that.

Optimism and pessimism are two sides of the same coin. They’re both attitudes or mindsets, but one is positive, while the other is negative.

In the academic world, optimism can be defined as “the extent to which people hold generalized favorable expectancies for their future” (Carver et al., 2010)

Optimism is about more than feeling good; it’s about being engaged with a meaningful life, developing resilience, and feeling in control.  Optimism is a mental attitude that heavily influences physical and mental health, as well as coping with everyday social experiences, relationship dynamics, and work life. 

An optimistic attitude isn’t always that easy to come by. It really takes concentrated effort. Anyone can learn to be optimistic if they find out what their purpose in life is.

An optimist, when faced with a problem, tends to find the upside to the situation and starts figuring out ways to solve that problem, or ways to turn it around.  A pessimist, however, immediately throws up his hands, and yells, “That’s it; it’s all over. I can’t handle this anymore.”  Or he will distance himself from the problem, pretending it doesn’t matter.  This is denial, and it never works.

An indication that you are dealing with a pessimist is in a simple phrase they will use in stressful situations – “I can’t”.  The pessimist is helpless, powerless and it shows in his response.  The optimist responds with – “I won’t”.  The optimist is making a conscious choice, not just reacting.

An optimist prefers to think more positively.  They focus on what they really want, not what might happen to them.

Think about the following statements:

  • Optimists achieve their goals because they never give up
  • Optimists attract Success naturally
  • Optimists are happier, healthier and more energetic than pessimists
  • Optimists are easier to be around, inspiring people around to be positive
  • Optimists live longer and suffer from fewer and less severe diseases
  • Besides the above, optimists lead higher quality of life.

These are all probably true just by the fact that optimists’ positive thinking makes challenging situations “not that bad” after all. 

Now true optimism is not sitting back, thinking positive thoughts, and hoping everything will turn out all right.  It’s how you see the world, positively rather than negatively.  You face each situation, each problem, and each occasion with a positive attitude; and you always look forward to the “benefits” you will derive from it. You have a choice.  “Change your thoughts and change your world,” said Norman Vincent Peale. What it comes down to is that your attitude is a conscious choice.  If you choose pessimism, you’re choosing to see the down side of every situation, judge people unfairly, and live unhappily the rest of your life.  What an oppressive existence!

On the other hand, if you choose optimism, you’re empowering yourself to see the positive side of each challenge, seeing the good in people, helping them to see the good in life too.  Taking action to further improve your own life, and living happily with friends and family who care about you.  Attracting all good to yourself. Choosing to be more optimistic and positive does not mean you won’t encounter difficult times, trauma, loss and many challenges.  What it does mean is that you will have more power on your side to help you through those tough times.  You’ll bounce back faster and make better choices, rather than letting life just wash over you.  You’ll learn to be proactive, instead of reactive.

If you’re not naturally optimistic and positive, don’t worry.  You can learn how to use your thoughts to change your attitude and emotions.  It won’t be easy.  Some days will be very challenging, but you can do it.  Improving your optimism rates is one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life.  It doesn’t come automatically, though.  It takes effort. It takes deliberate, conscious awareness of your thoughts and feelings.  And then acting on that awareness.

Each time you think a negative thought, stop right there and turn it around to find the positive aspect of the situation. Do this each time and build on it.  It will become a habit to be positive and upbeat about your life.

According to a study published in Clinical Psychology Review, optimism is closely linked to resilience. “Optimism has been shown to create physical and mental resilience for people, even those who have been through extraordinarily traumatic life circumstances or medical situations,” says Iyer.

Here are some stating points and things to consider:

Many people compare optimism with happiness. Even though they can influence each other, they aren’t the same thing. Sometimes optimists are see as people who only see the positive in every situation, yet that is not accurate. Positive thinking doesn’t mean you ignore the things that cause you stress in your life. It doesn’t mean that you are happy-go-lucky all the time or don’t experience hardship either. It does mean though, that you are creating an ability to approach and deal with those things in a productive way.

Practice your ‘positive thinking’ and your ‘positive feeling’.  Give yourself permission to think new thoughts and feel new feelings.

You can be as optimistic as you want that you will attract whatever it is you want to focus on.  The productive action helps to push things to that end, and you will get there. 

So I would say to you: Choose to be Optimistic!  Expect the best out of life!  Just Think and Act Optimistically.

www.vitalability.com