A Little Patience Goes A Long Way

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

~ Anonymous

We all know that relationships can be difficult. One of the best methods we have for making every relationship less stressful and more enjoyable is to show a little patience.  Patience has been defined as what we lack for the driver in front of us and demand from the driver behind us.

In truth, patience is nothing more than time. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value.

  • Time before we say something: Think of a time when someone was not patient with you when you needed them to be. Think of how you felt. Think of how deeply you might have been hurt. The next time you find yourself losing patience with another, take a moment to remind yourself of how you felt when someone had no patience with you.
  • Time before moaning and groaning: Patience takes time, but no more time than the showing of anger; of stomping or yelling or whining or complaining. A little patience can often resolve a conflict that a loss of patience will only escalate.
  • Time to just let things run their course: Arnold H. Glasow said, The key to everything is patience. You get a chicken by hatching an egg, not by smashing it.î Some things require a certain amount of time. Losing patience only hurts ourselves and won’t speed up the process.

So take the time to smile instead of frown; the time to wink instead of snarl. How much time does it really take to give someone a small nod or a pat on the back? We never stop to think about how a little of our time can make such a big difference in how we make another feel.

He that can have patience can have what he will

~ Benjamin Franklin

We can enjoy the following life-changing benefits by learning how to become patient.

Long-Term Vision

By understanding the importance of having patience we can maintain an unwavering focus on our long-term goals. Temporary setbacks like a delayed promotion, failing to qualify for a tournament or exam, a re-scheduled medical appointment, or enduring train and flight delays don’t affect a patient person much.

Mental And Physical Well-Being

We can see how patience plays an important role in our mental and physical wellness. By understanding the importance of patience in our life, we can learn to stay in control of our emotions and avoids negative feelings such as anger, frustration, helplessness, etc. Patience can be therapeutic and help during rehabilitation processes and various therapies.

Ability To Make A Sustained Effort

Patience gives people the perspective to focus on long-term strategies. You would have noticed that patient people have a reputation for persistence. This is because they work towards their goals despite setbacks and delays. Effort is directly tied to our goals and the the results we get from that effort, or lack of effort.

Sometimes effort might mean just getting out of bed in the morning. It looks different for everyone.

Peace And Popularity

A lack of patience is nothing more than a reflection of ourselves, an exercise in self-control, and maintains a great role in our goals/objectives being achieved. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value. Being patient can help give us inner peace and provide the ability to keep smiling despite challenges.

The lack of patience is the key to so much unhappiness and grief in this world, when all it requires is a little time on our part. One of the simplest ways to build stronger relationships and bring more happiness into our lives is by becoming a little more patient.

Showing someone patience is really giving to another that which we wish to receive.

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

~Ralph Waldo Emmerson


Eating For Life

Nutrition affects our overall health. Food balance is imperative to helping us develop our brains, strengthen our immune systems, and support healing.

Your body is worth the best you can do for it. This means getting proper amounts of sleep, rest, water, and food.

There is a balance to be had in all things, and food is no different. You aren’t going to be able to deal with food or manage your nutrition by pretending that it doesn’t exist, or that you are not responsible for it.

Eating is an essential part of life. We cannot sustain life for long without eating, so it is important that we take the time to learn how to eat well in order to have the best life possible. Our views of eating and the eating practices we adopt will affect our lives and our health in significant ways in the months and years ahead. Eating well can literally change everything.

Eating can be both a blessing and a curse. Many people struggle with eating because they cannot keep it in balance. They end up eating too little or too much and do not live healthy lives because of it. We all know the dangers of eating too little. Probably everyone has at least one friend that struggles with an eating disorder of some kind. That friend just cannot seem to get a grip on their eating patterns and they are unhealthy because of it. They think about or talk about food almost constantly.

Other people struggle with eating too much. Eating more food than we need to live is something that the majority of people, at least in the West, struggle with. Eating is associated with most kinds of social activities and events and therefore people learn to eat for reasons other than to satisfy hunger or prolong their health. Eating becomes a way to experience pleasure or to numb the pains of life.

The bottom line is that whether people struggle with eating too little or with indulging on food too much, they are not using food in ways that are healthy and life-promoting. Eating, while it is definitely meant to bring people pleasure and satisfaction, is primarily to be a means of sustaining a healthy life. Our problems begin anytime eating is neglected or indulged in beyond what is necessary.

Take a look at your eating patterns. You may be surprised to see that you have established unhealthy eating habits over the years. Perhaps your schedule for each day is centered around when you can have meals or a snack. If so, there is a high chance that food has become a bit too high of a priority. Anytime that your thoughts are consumed with food, whether with restraining yourself from it or with consuming more of it, you are thinking of eating and of food in unhealthy ways.

Beginners Guide To Setting A Goal For Healthy Nutritional Eating

If you’re currently not eating a healthy diet, it can be difficult to start such a plan. However, healthy eating along with some exercise is very important for maintaining a good bodily function and goes a long way towards living a disease-free life. If you struggle with healthy eating, then you know that breaking unhealthy habits can be the most difficult part of the process. Therefore, if you truly want to live the best lifestyle possible, it is important to follow tips in order to start eating a more healthy diet.

A great first step when you want to start eating your way to a healthy lifestyle is to rid your home of all temptations that will distract you from following better eating habits. Ideally it would be a wise course to keep junk foods and beverages out of your house so as not be tempted to snack during the day. If you’re worried about getting hungry, keep healthy snacks like carrot sticks, yogurt, fresh fruit, or whole-wheat crackers on hand. If you find that you just cannot bear to toss out the sweets, try keeping something tiny on hand, peppermints or barley sugar. Eating a few, (emphasis on few) of these won’t ruin your diet but also will give you that little sugary fix you rave.

Another great step to healthy eating, when you’re first starting the process, is to take a few moments to learn what foods are the healthiest for you and how they work within the body. To start eating healthily we must begin by thinking healthily. Most people understand that fruits, vegetables, and low-fat meats and dairy products are good for you, but few people understand why. The key is learning about nutrients. When you understand how specific nutrients work and why you need them, it becomes more reasonable for you to make healthier choices for your body. Knowledge really is power!

Preparation is a major key in commencing a new healthy diet. You must take into consideration your schedule for meals. If you often eat in a rushed hurry at odd times of day, you are probably more inclined to grab a rushed meal which will probably do more harm than good. So plan ahead! Instead of grabbing a fast food lunch on the go, take a bagged lunch to work, complete with a healthy wrap and some fresh fruit and vegetables. Remember not to forget your evening meal, a simple plan to have a meal ready before you get home would be perfect, but in our fast paced lifestyle, sometimes this just can’t be done. One way to solve this problem is to plan out your evening meals for the week, on your days off. Perhaps just before you do your weekly shopping. Another warning: when going to the shops, do not venture there hungry because if you’re anything like me, one or two chocolate bars won’t hurt! That becomes the first break in your healthy eating.

Initially many will find it very difficult to make those necessary changes to healthier eating. Along with the difficulty of change, you may not feel well for a short period of time. Usually this is normal as your body is adjusting to your new and improved life style and is cleansing itself from the unhealthy toxins built up from poor eating habits. However if this feeling continues or you are worried a visit to your doctor would be the correct thing to do.

Start with baby steps. Even if you only replace one soda a day with a glass of water, you are really improving your calorie intake. If you eat fast food every day for lunch, try replacing that half of the time with better quality foods. When you start by taking small steps you aren’t cutting out all of the foods you love all at once. By taking your time to learn about your eating habits and slowly replacing them with better meals, by taking the time to learn and understand why you should be doing that and making the necessary changes in an orderly fashion, you will feel much better within yourself physically, mentally and emotionally and well on the road to becoming as healthy as you can be.

So, eat for life – don’t allow to let life eat you. After all, you are worth it!


Positive Psychology In Coaching

Positive psychology can be summed up as a solution-focused “applied positive psychological approach” aimed at facilitating goal achievement, wellbeing and positive change in various areas of a person’s life. In other words, it emphasizes the positive influences in a person’s life.

This theory is based on the belief that happiness is derived from both emotional and mental factors in a person’s life, and focuses on the possibility that lies ahead for that person as their visualized ideal self.

In most situations, coaches use multiple models of coaching to create a coaching experience that’s highly tailored and suited to each specific individual who is seeking those services. Typically, there is no cookie-cutter method used as each client has specific things they wish to focus on. Coaches often utilize these various modalities and resources to supplement the coaching experience and encourage conversations that help move the client to raise their awareness, reflect on their values, create and make action steps, while working towards their goals. Positive psychology coaching (also referred to as Strengths-Based Coaching, or Positive Coaching)  is just one of those methods that a coach may incorporate.

The fundamental aspects of positive psychology, include helping a client explore their resilience, weaknesses, strengths, values, optimistic emotions, self-compassion, and focuses on the positive developments, instead of fixing any deficits. Developing an understanding of negative thoughts and behaviors versus positive thoughts and behaviors, and understanding which are needed to achieve goals and objectives, is at the heart of positive psychology coaching.

Coaching clients by incorporating positive psychology can help clients become clearer about what changes they might need to make to achieve their desired goals and objectives.


Breaking The Chains of Procrastination

Procrastination is often confused with laziness, but they are very different. Laziness is when we are able to carry out some activity that we should be carrying out, yet are choosing not do so so because of the effort involved; not working, not doing anything, avoiding to make an effort by all means necessary; showing lack of effort entirely; or  when our motivation to spare ourselves effort, surpasses our motivation to do the right, best, or expected action. Laziness is about avoiding responsibilities completely, and although it is normal for a person to feel lazy from time to time, when it becomes chronic, it may cause harm to one’s professional and personal life.

Procrastination means to postpone one task in favor of another or others which are perceived as being easier or more enjoyable, but that are typically less important or urgent. Further, the procrastinator does make effort and intends to complete the task under they are undertaking, and, often they do eventually complete it, although at a much higher cost to themselves. Procrastination is a result of poor planning, the fear of decision making, sometimes perfectionism, and manifests itself in postponing time-sensitive matters in favor of doing something less stressful and responsible. 

This should not be confused with postponing, though there is a fine line between the two. Postponing something is not procrastinating. Sometimes we may need to postpone something if something more pressing comes up. In order for postponement to amount to procrastination, it has to represent poor or ineffective planning and result in a higher overall cost to the procrastinator. This may include lack of progress, accomplishment, or specific consequences.

Procrastination is a trap that many of us fall into at some point in our lives. It happens. This can make us feel guilty, stressed, or ashamed. It can lead to reduced productivity, lost opportunities, and cause us to miss out on meeting particular deadlines, valuable experiences, or achieving our goals.

While it may be comforting to hear all this and hear that it happens to all of us at some point and time – this should not thrust us into complacency. Just to know that you’re not alone though can be compelling. It can also be sobering to realize just how much it can hold us back.

There are two types of procrastination, chronic and acute. Chronic procrastination has a deep, strong, and permanent psychological cause that may not be so easily eliminated. It can be done, but it takes patience and hard work.

On the other hand, acute procrastination can be caused even by small mood or energy swings throughout the day, or other small psychological triggers which aren’t a steady natural part of your psyche (like having a bad day, for example). Acute procrastination happens as an out-of-the-ordinary behavioral pattern. 

Check out this Article written about the differences between Acute and Chronic Procrastination.

So what can we do about procrastination? Is there any hope to change? Absolutely!!! This is the beauty of being open to personal growth:

  • Awareness. Awareness and self-knowledge are the keys to figuring out how to stop procrastinating. It is helpful to understand the reasons you are procrastinating before you can begin to tackle it. Often times, knowing our true reasons for procrastinating makes it easier to stop.

  • Eliminate Distractions. Limit the number of distractions around you. Working in a quite and calm area can help increase productivity. Turn off the notifications on your phone, or turn your phone off; Have a plan to dedicate a certain amount of time to this project. Manager your time. You may even set a timer. An important concept in time management is that you don’t manage only your time, but also consider your energy levels. 

  • Set Goals. It’s best to start with writing your goal(s) down first. Then establish simple, reachable goals rather than goals that are unrealistic. and if you write it down, follow through no matter what. By doing so you will slowly rebuild trust in yourself that you will really do what you say you will, which so many procrastinators have lost. However, it all starts by writing it all down. That’s right, all of it…small goals, large goals, small tasks, large tasks….all of it. Don’t sabotage yourself though by having unrealistic expectations that you cannot meet.

  • Prioritize. Remember that list we said to make? You can utilize this list to prioritize the things that need your attention first. Address your most critical or time-sensitive assignments first, and work your way down the list. Get the hardest stuff out of the way first thing. This will make everything else feel like it falls into place to be more manageable.

  • Get Organized. You are more likely to procrastinate if you don’t have a set plan or idea in place for accomplishing your goal. Utilize a planner, desktop calendar, or digital tracker to keep track of appointments, project due dates, and other important tasks. By the way, even if you’re organized, you can still feel overwhelmed by a task. Take it slow, but not too slow. Allow yourself to incorporate being flexible.

  • Take a Break. It doesn’t have to be long. Give it 10-15 minutes. A break can increase focus, reduce stress, and help you better retain information. Take a walk, excercise, pamper yourself, dance to some loud music, whatever works for you.

  • Set Deadlines. Get yourself out of the habit by saying “oh I’ll just do it tomorrow” or “later”.

  • Monitor Self-Talk. Talk to yourself in ways that remind you of your goals and replace those old, counter-productive negative habits of self-talk. Instead of saying, “I wish I hadn’t…or “It’s just not possible”…or “I can’t do it” – ” say, “I will …”I am making it possible”….or “I am capable of doing…” The way we speak to ourselves can literally affect the way we move forward with completing a task, and in many ways determines whether we even take steps to begin.

  • Reward Yourself. Rewarding yourself is valuable when you create an incentive to work towards. This can be as simple or as elaborate as you choose. Make sure that after the completed result that you get something out of it (even if that is time to enjoy a favorite hobby, excursion, food, or experience).

  • Hold Yourself Accountable. You and you alone are responsible for the effort you put into completing a project. You are in control of what you do complete or don’t complete in other aspects of your life; if you need help in holding yourself accountable, tell a friend or family member and ask them to check up on your goals, deadlines, and accomplishments. You can even hire a life coach to help as an accountability partner.

I am reminded of a quote that my dad used to tell me from Benjamin Franklin, when I was younger……