Tag: Vital Ability Life Coach

A Little Patience Goes A Long Way

Vital Ability

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

~ Anonymous

We all know that relationships can be difficult. One of the best methods we have for making every relationship less stressful and more enjoyable is to show a little patience.  Patience has been defined as what we lack for the driver in front of us and demand from the driver behind us.

In truth, patience is nothing more than time. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value.

  • Time before we say something: Think of a time when someone was not patient with you when you needed them to be. Think of how you felt. Think of how deeply you might have been hurt. The next time you find yourself losing patience with another, take a moment to remind yourself of how you felt when someone had no patience with you.
  • Time before moaning and groaning: Patience takes time, but no more time than the showing of anger; of stomping or yelling or whining or complaining. A little patience can often resolve a conflict that a loss of patience will only escalate.
  • Time to just let things run their course: Arnold H. Glasow said, The key to everything is patience. You get a chicken by hatching an egg, not by smashing it.î Some things require a certain amount of time. Losing patience only hurts ourselves and won’t speed up the process.

So take the time to smile instead of frown; the time to wink instead of snarl. How much time does it really take to give someone a small nod or a pat on the back? We never stop to think about how a little of our time can make such a big difference in how we make another feel.

He that can have patience can have what he will

~ Benjamin Franklin

We can enjoy the following life-changing benefits by learning how to become patient.

Long-Term Vision

By understanding the importance of having patience we can maintain an unwavering focus on our long-term goals. Temporary setbacks like a delayed promotion, failing to qualify for a tournament or exam, a re-scheduled medical appointment, or enduring train and flight delays don’t affect a patient person much.

Mental And Physical Well-Being

We can see how patience plays an important role in our mental and physical wellness. By understanding the importance of patience in our life, we can learn to stay in control of our emotions and avoids negative feelings such as anger, frustration, helplessness, etc. Patience can be therapeutic and help during rehabilitation processes and various therapies.

Ability To Make A Sustained Effort

Patience gives people the perspective to focus on long-term strategies. You would have noticed that patient people have a reputation for persistence. This is because they work towards their goals despite setbacks and delays. Effort is directly tied to our goals and the the results we get from that effort, or lack of effort.

Sometimes effort might mean just getting out of bed in the morning. It looks different for everyone.

Peace And Popularity

A lack of patience is nothing more than a reflection of ourselves, an exercise in self-control, and maintains a great role in our goals/objectives being achieved. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value. Being patient can help give us inner peace and provide the ability to keep smiling despite challenges.

The lack of patience is the key to so much unhappiness and grief in this world, when all it requires is a little time on our part. One of the simplest ways to build stronger relationships and bring more happiness into our lives is by becoming a little more patient.

Showing someone patience is really giving to another that which we wish to receive.

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

~Ralph Waldo Emmerson

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Eating For Life

Vital Ability
Nutrition affects our overall health. Food balance is imperative to helping us develop our brains, strengthen our immune systems, and support healing.

Your body is worth the best you can do for it. This means getting proper amounts of sleep, rest, water, and food.

There is a balance to be had in all things, and food is no different. You aren’t going to be able to deal with food or manage your nutrition by pretending that it doesn’t exist, or that you are not responsible for it.

Eating is an essential part of life. We cannot sustain life for long without eating, so it is important that we take the time to learn how to eat well in order to have the best life possible. Our views of eating and the eating practices we adopt will affect our lives and our health in significant ways in the months and years ahead. Eating well can literally change everything.

Eating can be both a blessing and a curse. Many people struggle with eating because they cannot keep it in balance. They end up eating too little or too much and do not live healthy lives because of it. We all know the dangers of eating too little. Probably everyone has at least one friend that struggles with an eating disorder of some kind. That friend just cannot seem to get a grip on their eating patterns and they are unhealthy because of it. They think about or talk about food almost constantly.

Other people struggle with eating too much. Eating more food than we need to live is something that the majority of people, at least in the West, struggle with. Eating is associated with most kinds of social activities and events and therefore people learn to eat for reasons other than to satisfy hunger or prolong their health. Eating becomes a way to experience pleasure or to numb the pains of life.

The bottom line is that whether people struggle with eating too little or with indulging on food too much, they are not using food in ways that are healthy and life-promoting. Eating, while it is definitely meant to bring people pleasure and satisfaction, is primarily to be a means of sustaining a healthy life. Our problems begin anytime eating is neglected or indulged in beyond what is necessary.

Take a look at your eating patterns. You may be surprised to see that you have established unhealthy eating habits over the years. Perhaps your schedule for each day is centered around when you can have meals or a snack. If so, there is a high chance that food has become a bit too high of a priority. Anytime that your thoughts are consumed with food, whether with restraining yourself from it or with consuming more of it, you are thinking of eating and of food in unhealthy ways.

Beginners Guide To Setting A Goal For Healthy Nutritional Eating

If you’re currently not eating a healthy diet, it can be difficult to start such a plan. However, healthy eating along with some exercise is very important for maintaining a good bodily function and goes a long way towards living a disease-free life. If you struggle with healthy eating, then you know that breaking unhealthy habits can be the most difficult part of the process. Therefore, if you truly want to live the best lifestyle possible, it is important to follow tips in order to start eating a more healthy diet.

A great first step when you want to start eating your way to a healthy lifestyle is to rid your home of all temptations that will distract you from following better eating habits. Ideally it would be a wise course to keep junk foods and beverages out of your house so as not be tempted to snack during the day. If you’re worried about getting hungry, keep healthy snacks like carrot sticks, yogurt, fresh fruit, or whole-wheat crackers on hand. If you find that you just cannot bear to toss out the sweets, try keeping something tiny on hand, peppermints or barley sugar. Eating a few, (emphasis on few) of these won’t ruin your diet but also will give you that little sugary fix you rave.

Another great step to healthy eating, when you’re first starting the process, is to take a few moments to learn what foods are the healthiest for you and how they work within the body. To start eating healthily we must begin by thinking healthily. Most people understand that fruits, vegetables, and low-fat meats and dairy products are good for you, but few people understand why. The key is learning about nutrients. When you understand how specific nutrients work and why you need them, it becomes more reasonable for you to make healthier choices for your body. Knowledge really is power!

Preparation is a major key in commencing a new healthy diet. You must take into consideration your schedule for meals. If you often eat in a rushed hurry at odd times of day, you are probably more inclined to grab a rushed meal which will probably do more harm than good. So plan ahead! Instead of grabbing a fast food lunch on the go, take a bagged lunch to work, complete with a healthy wrap and some fresh fruit and vegetables. Remember not to forget your evening meal, a simple plan to have a meal ready before you get home would be perfect, but in our fast paced lifestyle, sometimes this just can’t be done. One way to solve this problem is to plan out your evening meals for the week, on your days off. Perhaps just before you do your weekly shopping. Another warning: when going to the shops, do not venture there hungry because if you’re anything like me, one or two chocolate bars won’t hurt! That becomes the first break in your healthy eating.

Initially many will find it very difficult to make those necessary changes to healthier eating. Along with the difficulty of change, you may not feel well for a short period of time. Usually this is normal as your body is adjusting to your new and improved life style and is cleansing itself from the unhealthy toxins built up from poor eating habits. However if this feeling continues or you are worried a visit to your doctor would be the correct thing to do.

Start with baby steps. Even if you only replace one soda a day with a glass of water, you are really improving your calorie intake. If you eat fast food every day for lunch, try replacing that half of the time with better quality foods. When you start by taking small steps you aren’t cutting out all of the foods you love all at once. By taking your time to learn about your eating habits and slowly replacing them with better meals, by taking the time to learn and understand why you should be doing that and making the necessary changes in an orderly fashion, you will feel much better within yourself physically, mentally and emotionally and well on the road to becoming as healthy as you can be.

So, eat for life – don’t allow to let life eat you. After all, you are worth it!

http://www.vitalability.com

Independence Day

Vital Ability

Independence fosters a person’s ability to be self-reliant and self-sufficient. Independence is a prime motivator for self-determination and success in life.

In the beginning of our life, our self-esteem and sense of our value is dependent upon our parents’ influence and perception of us and the world. What they say we are worth is what we believe about ourselves. Later, it is our social circles and friends, then society who we let tell us what our life is worth. A person has the ability to choose whether to live by the opinions of others, form their own opinions, or a mixture of the two.

Although we are free to pursue our own dreams, we are still a society that values status. We use titles and college degrees, certifications, employment experiences, money and material things to measure a person’s worth. We often let social standing and what others think of us dictate what our actions are and this influences our self-esteem. However, the rut of getting stuck in this vicious cycle doesn’t have to stay this way. You can learn to develop your own value, to be valuable to yourself. By learning to invest in yourself, be valuable to yourself, gives you the tools necessary to embrace independence.

Independence doesn’t mean you never need other people. It doesn’t mean that you don’t need a support system. It doesn’t mean that you can handle everything all by yourself and never get stuck. It does mean that you maintain your own status quo though. You are in control of the type of help you get and the type of people you get help from. You are in control of whether you are willing to not only be a support for others, but accept support from others. Giving help to someone without encouraging their independence is often worse than not helping at all. When you foster dependency, you are limiting people from their potential. This is the importance of stepping out beyond your comfort zones to allow yourself the freedom to grow, to learn, to change. Fostering that independence can help make life a smoother experience that is more manageable.

It is said that every person has four endowments: self awareness, a conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. Utilizing these gifts, provides us the ultimate freedom. The power to choose (we always have a choice), to respond (not react), to change (change can be liberating). The ability to be independent is something that not everyone possesses, however this is a skill that can be taught. Learning to be independent increases our ability to survive in the world. Learning to support yourself, on your own effort, is fundamental for any success you ever hope to achieve in your life.

The ultimate ideal is to be independent and use that independence to help other people. We are not talking about helping people by making them dependent on you. Though sometimes that can happen without us intending for it to. Helping people by freeing them from their dependencies also helps them build their own self-esteem.

The bottom line is this. Think for yourself. Live your life on your terms. Be willing to give help to others, ask for help when needed; be willing to learn, change, and invest in yourself, and then help others do the same.

It’s time for your Independence Day to begin. Set up a complimentary 30 minute one on one session to explore what’s possible for you.

www.vitalability.com

Say Something Nice Day

Vital Ability

Sometimes you have to be kind to others….not because they’re nice, but because you are. ~Anonymous

If you haven’t seen the Disney movie “Bambi”, I highly recommend it. It has a lot of valuable lessons throughout for kids and adults. One the the ones that stands out to me that I have carried through my life was referenced by Thumper, a young rabbit referring to something he learned from his mother…… “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

This is good advice to live by when speaking to each other and to ourselves.

Putting positive and uplifting speech into action has been the focus of many songs, poems, movies, and books over the years. We can learn a lot from these portable lessons of goodness.

One such call to action was represented as follows:

On July 31, 2011, the president and CEO of the Charleston, South Carolina Speech and Hearing Center, Mitchell Carnell, published a short Amazon book called “Say Something Nice: Be a Lifter!” The book was and is really about the health benefits you receive when you lift others up instead of tearing them down.

In 2006, Carnell’s work in communication and good works was officially recognized when the mayor of North Charleston, South Carolina proclaimed June 1 as Say Something Nice Day in recognition of Carnell’s communication efforts.

The aim of this special day is to fight against unkindness, bullying, and the lack of politeness that dominates society today. The world can be an unpleasant place at times, and if there is something that we really need, it’s a little more nicety and kindness.

This includes being nice to ourselves as well. It’s imperative to appreciate even the little things in our lives. Say something nice to yourself about the things you have experienced in your life; reflect on all of your accomplishments or completed goals (no matter how small). This can make you feel good on the inside. 

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always. ~ Brad Meltzer

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Mother May I

Vital Ability

Take a twist on an old children’s game and revamp it to enhance some important workplace skills with a group of Teenagers or Adults.

Looking for something fun and interactive to do with your team, workgroup, co-workers, to inspire active listening skills, self-restraint, develop those leadership skills to give instruction, and take on instructions? Looking to participate in some fun healthy competition?

How to play the Mother, May I Game:

  1. Line up each player shoulder to shoulder about a foot apart.
  2. The player who is “Mother” (you can also use Father or Captain in place of Mother) stands in front of the other players.
  3. The “Mother” figure then calls on a person by name and gives them instructions so they can move forward. For instance, “Maxwell, take 2 GIANT steps forward.”
  4. The person who is called on must then say, “Mother, may I?”
  5. The “Mother” then responds either “Yes”, and the person can take the steps forward, or “No” and the person must remain in their place without moving.
  6. If the person makes a move and forgets to ask, “Mother, may I?” then they must go back to the starting line.
  7. If another person takes the steps out of turn, they must also go back to the starting line.
  8. The first person to reach the “Mother” figure, wins!

Twists on the Mother, May I Game: The fun can be ramped up a bit when the person playing the “Mother” role adds their own rules. For example, instead of simple “steps”, “Mother” can ask that the participants waddle, hop, jump or scoot. And all the steps don’t have to be forward – they can be backwards or sideways too, which can help the game last longer.

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Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Vital Ability

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques

EFT is a practical self-help method that involves using the fingers to gently tap on the body’s acupuncture points along the meridian lines of Chinese medicine. It is often referred to as ‘EFT Tapping’ or simply as ‘Tapping’. The therapeutic effects of this technique are recognized around the world.

EFT tapping is an alternative treatment for certain emotional and physical conditions. Some research indicates that it may be effective for anxiety, depression, emotional turmoil, PTSD, and some other conditions.

There have been relatively few studies on EFT, but the body of research has grown in recent years.

In addition to the studies that evaluate EFT on people with both anxiety and depression, other research focuses on EFT for those with depression  or PTSD alone.

In a 2013 study, 30 veterans who received EFT treatment along with standard care had significantly less psychological distress and PTSD symptoms than those who were on a waiting list for treatment.

In addition, after three and six sessions, 60.0% and 85.7% of these participants respectively no longer met the PTSD clinical criteria. At 6 months after the treatment, 79.5% of participants did not fit the criteria, which the researchers said indicated the long term benefits of EFT.

In a 2017 survey of EFT practitioners, most (63%) reported that EFT could resolve even complex PTSD in 10 sessions or fewer. Almost 90% of respondents stated that less than 10% of their clients make little or no progress.

More recently, a 2019 study involving 203 individuals tested the physical reactions and psychological symptoms of people attending EFT workshops. The majority of people that took part were women over the age of 50 years.

The researchers reported that participants experienced significant reductions in anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms, as well as in pain levels and cravings. They also reported improvements in happiness.

Physical measures in a subset of participants showed improvements in heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

In other research, students with anxiety reported that EFT helped them feel calmer and more relaxed.

In addition, practitioners often combine EFT with other approaches, including cognitive therapy, which may play a role in the treatment’s success

What is EFT and who uses it?

EFT,  first came to prominence in the 1990s when developer Gary Craig published information about the therapy on his website EFT International dot org.

It involves tapping specific points on the body, primarily on the head and the face, in a particular sequence, on one or both sides of the body at particular spots. While doing this, the person focuses on the issue that they wish to treat.

How does it work?

As with acupuncture and acupressure, tapping involves the body’s energy meridian points, which are a concept in Chinese medicine. Proponents believe them to be areas of the body through which energy flows.

In this theory, blocks or imbalances in the flow of energy lead to ill health. According to EFT advocates, tapping on these meridian points with the fingertips restores the balance of energy to resolve physical and emotional issues.

It can also work in a similar way to mindfulness, as it can draw a person’s attention to their body and breathing. It may serve as a mental distraction from the issues that are causing anxiety or stress.

How to do EFT tapping

People may also be beneficial for a person before an event that they expect to cause stress or anxiety.

To use EFT tapping, follow these five steps:

1. Identify the issue

During this step, the person thinks about the problem that they wish to resolve. They should only choose one issue to focus on at a time.

2. Test the initial intensity

A person should rank the intensity of the issue on a scale of 0–10, with 10 being the worst the issue has ever been. This ranking system allows the person to assess the effectiveness of the tapping at the end of the treatment.

3. The setup

Before beginning each round of tapping, the person should decide on a simple reminder phrase to repeat while tapping the karate chop point. This point is at the center of the fleshy part of the outer hand.

The reminder phrase should acknowledge the issue and convey self-acceptance in spite of it. For example, a person might choose to say:

“Even though I have [issue], I deeply and completely accept myself.”

4. The sequence

During this step, the individual taps on specific points on the body while repeating the phrase that they have chosen. If a practitioner is performing the treatment, they will carry out the tapping.

The tapping points, in sequence, are as follows:

  • top of the head (TOH) — directly in the center of the top of the head
  • beginning of the eyebrow (EB) — the beginning of the brow, just above and to the side of the nose
  • side of the eye (SE) — on the bone at the outside corner of the eye
  • under the eye (UE) — on the bone under the eye, approximately 1 inch (in) below the pupil
  • under the nose (UN) — the point between the nose and upper lip
  • chin point (CH) — halfway between the underside of the lower lip and the bottom of the chin
  • beginning of the collarbone (CB) — the point where the breastbone (sternum), collarbone, and first rib intersect
  • under the arm (UA) — at the side of the body, approximately 4 in below the armpit

When tapping, use two or more fingertips and repeat the tap approximately five times on each point.

While some points have a “twin point” on the other side of the body, it is only necessary to tap on one side. However, individuals can tap these points on both sides if both of their hands are free.

5. Test the intensity again

Again, rank the intensity of the issue on a scale of 0–10. Ideally, this will have improved. Repeat the process until the intensity reaches 0 or plateaus.

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New Year Message 2020

Vital Ability

Slow down a bit and work on not overthinking.  Find time to rest your body  and your mind.  Healing comes with rest and time.  Healing also comes from pushing forward and keeping the body and mind moving.  The key is learning to set personal limits, boundaries, and pacing yourself.

Set a goal.  It doesn’t matter if it is a small goal or a larger more challenging goal. Take small steps towards your goal.  Each step is one step closer to achieving the end result, whatever that may be for you.  Share yourself with others. 

Never give up HOPE and belief in the greater good.  Allow yourself to see the light despite all of the darkness.

Someone, somewhere, is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree. Pay it forward by planting one small kindness at a time, and help cast the shadow of your fears and limitations behind you.

I wish you enough.  Enough love.  Enough pain relief.  Enough progress.  Enough happiness.  Enough joy.  Enough progress.  Enough life.  Enough of all that you need in the New Year.

Happy New Year!!!

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This Is It

Vital Ability

This is it! The sign you have been looking for. The confirmation you needed to take that next step to transformation, of moving forward based on the the transitions you have experienced, have been experiencing or are about to experience. This is it. The support you have been looking for, or never knew you needed. This is it. The time to harness your inner strength and begin your transformation to your life – A life worth living!!

www.vitalability.com